"Ice skating equipment, Lake Louise, Alberta" by AbleStock

When I lived in Japan
the Great Land God
stayed with me,
sat on the fridge
in the kitchen,
brought me luck and
made me happy.
He carried a mallet,
a barrel of rice and
a sack full of fate.
If you prayed hard enough
he'd hammer at your door,
bless you with smiles,
spill his white seed,
and you'd be having
babies, hot dinners, and good fortune
for years to come.

Now I live in Canada
Eric Lindros
stays with me,
sits on the fridge
in the kitchen,
and smiles down from
a box of Shreddies.
He wears a helmet
and armour and carries
a big hooked stick
for quelling
the demons and spirits
that lurk in the shadows.
Eric,
Happy Kitchen God!
Warm my heart! Moisten my womb!
Bring me babies! Keep evil at bay!

BIO: Alison Pryer, Ph.D., is currently a full-time mother and occasional writer. Her work has appeared in numerous North American and international academic and literary journals. EMAIL: alisonpryer@yahoo.com