...one day you take one brave step, and that step propels a misstep, an accident, the momentum takes over and you are caught in an avalanche and there is no more sun, no light, no voices, no history. Just you, in the middle of a surprise snowstorm. And it happens so fast there's no way to retrace your steps.

You can feel it too, if you stand very quietly with your eyes closed and lean into it. Time passes through and takes things. It is all true, not an illusion or idea. Her body had all been replaced many times over. Time passed through and took atoms, molecules and cells and left different ones in their place.

After having left home at 15 and making my way in the world by myself, I was tired of being alone. I wanted stability and a family who loved me unconditionally. I wanted it all--the white picket fence, summers at the lake, a show place home with matching towels in all the bathrooms.

Ha! My brain screams at me. Get real, I told myself. What I have is an old mobile home on less than an acre of land, faded wall paper, and cracked linoleum. My home looks so much like the way I feel, it is almost terrifying.

Just sitting down to write about abundance is a ritual for me. It is a huge issue in my life--always has been--and anytime I face this issue I get closer; I allow myself more; I release my conditioned responses to money.

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