Finding Ms., Miss, or Mrs. Right for Herself:
Today, if you're not confused your're not thinking clearly.
How many times have you read an article entitled "How to Find Mr.
Right" or "Making Yourself Right for Mr.Right"? Not to mention
the numerous times we have heard the phrase "Mr.Right is just
around the corner", or "She finally found the right one".
It is not as common
for us, even in today's society, to find masses of literature in the main
stream media promoting how to become the right one for you. It is my belief
that in order to be the right one, make yourself right, or even to love another
person, it takes a courageous act of deeply involved creativity. That's right,
self-discovery-- learning who you are and creating the best life for you.
Skeptics may think finding out who you are to be a bit arrogant,
self-centered, or even selfish. I think not. Finding out who Ms.,
Miss, or Mrs. Right is an act of love, courage, freedom, and
enhances life for everyone around you. Therefore, to all of you
who are wasting time searching for the wrong one let me direct
you to yourself.
So, what makes this writer the expert?
Easy-- I am the expert on myself, and so are you on yourself.
There isn't one set path to follow on the road to finding the right
person for you and no one can be that expert for you. There are
as many different ways to self-discovery as there are people in the
world. I know, this sounds complicated; that's only because we
are complicated. That is, we are a complex subject and you cannot
be discovered overnight. Knowing yourself can be a life long
journey, which is why I think it is so important to start early.
Finding that right one, as you know, is not easy. However, I
believe it can be a heck of a lot easier once you become Ms. or
Miss right for yourself. And, all of you Mrs. out their can
enhance your life with that wonderful partner you already have.
Then again, you may want to end what you discovered was a wrong
choice for you in the first place, or decide you just want to be
alone right now.
It's amazing what a woman may find out on a journey to herself.
Maybe it's that long lost smile on her face, or the career or
children she's always longed for. And, in my case it's a
kaleidoscope of things I find everyday. Like a wonderful partner
who brings that long lost smile back to my lips, or that I want
to run a marathon and become a lawyer. You may also find yourself
saying, "Finally! I found the job that's perfect for me!" or " Shit,
my life is messed up, I'd better get creative here!" Whatever
you find will be worth it, even if you find yourself saying,
"My life is fine the way it is. I know who I am." Then you know that
you know who you are.
The beauty of self-discovery is that the journey never ends. You
begin to recognize that life is a dynamic process, and so are
people. We are constantly growing, changing, deteriorating, or
improving. We experience tragedy, joyous occasions, deep
depression, birth and growth, rebirth, and much more. Rebirth is
the concept encompassing the deeply involved creation of your
What I'm really talking about is a "nowhere to run and a nowhere
to hide" approach to life. It's called personal responsibility.
I think some women spend so much time being
afraid that instead of doing what we want or is best for us we
end up simply talking rather than doing. We say, "I'm afraid, or
I can't, or no one will love me if I do." Ms., Miss or Mrs.Right
would just be doing it, whatever "it" evolved from finding her
Becoming involved in the process of self-discovery requires time
alone. I personally recommend a lot of time alone to experience
life. Although, I love sharing my time with others, or I should
say one special other. Being alone is a necessity for woman's
rebirth and personal growth.
My time alone, I find to be the most insightful time for me. You
don't have the outside distractions from friends, family, partners or
society. Blocking out external forces on our lives can bring a
much clearer picture of who we are and what we are really
thinking and feeling. Gaining knowledge about yourself awards you
power to break free from stereotypes, sexual hang-ups, and other
negative socialization we may have experienced. Self-knowledge
can enhance the already wonderful moments a woman has had, thus
bringing more happiness to her life. The empowerment that comes
with becoming the right one gives woman the strength to withstand
pressures to conform to others expectations of her.
Finding Miss, Ms. or Mrs. Right may be the most challenging, yet
rewarding, endeavor woman experiences. She may find God or lose
all sight of God, discover that God is female or that God is the
most ludicrous idea man ever created. More optimistically, she
may learn that she is a goddess among many.
Whatever a woman decides to do, she is worth the quest of finding
Ms., Miss, or Mrs. Right. Finding herself by herself is doing,
moving, and creating. And as they say--the rest is her story.
Artwork "Diana" By Susan Ferguson
Visit her web site at
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