WHAT'S IN A NAME

Pat Fish

I've had a lot of names.  In fact, my full name, if all were included ,would be Patricia Ann McLaughlin Lawton Colgin Bellamy Fish.   I like my current last name the best, although Bellamy was nice in that it was close to the beginning of the alphabet.

I have a thing about names  close to the beginning of the alphabet.  It's probably a throwback to my youthful days in parochial schools when we all were seated in alphabetical order.

Thus those whose last names began with an A always got to hold open the doors for visitors or take names of talkers when the nun left the room. My name was always up there as a talker.  I always hated that.  Why should the student whose last name began with an A, subsequently given the first seat in the first row and handy for nun assignments, have

some authority over me, whose last name began with an M.  M is the same letter that begins the words mediocre and middle, if you get my drift. Those A people talked as much as me, yet there I was, always on the blackboard. . .Patricia McLaughlin.

So any relationship I ever began with a man in my life always required my assessment of his last name.  I was determined to make it up to beginning of the alphabet and I almost did.

Now that my parochial school days are long behind me, I have other criteria for what makes a good name.  Fish, I submit, is a helluva good name.

It's the name of an animal.  It's short.  It's not too far down the alphabet.  My husband, in fact, signs his name with his initials WG followed by the old Christian symbol for a fish.  I can't draw it on the keyboard but you probably know it.  This is neat, huh?  They always get him to sign all the inventory documents because his name's so short. So you see, there's this convenience, too.

Then we have to remember future book signings.  It's a simple manner for me to sign. . .P.A. Fish, heh, heh.

Forget about it.  I saw the name that has it all.  I noticed it as a sigfile of a poster on one of my newsgroups.  Just as soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it.  And the poster was a guy, too !

Now I'm not sure the judge will go easy on me when I state my cause for divorce is to seek a new last name, but I'll pay the price, this name is so good.  It has it all.  Beginning of the alphabet.  Short.  And yes, the name of a very dear little animal.

The name on the sigfile?  Andrew BYRD.

I like it. . .  



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