Table of Contents | Poetry | Opinion | Fiction | Nonfiction | Columns | Shorts | Art | Cosmic Connections

Musings on Everyone's Favorite Topic


Sex hasn't been the same
since women started enjoying it.
-- Lewis Grissard

Anything worth doing well is worth doing slowly.
-- Gypsy Rose Lee

After two months of uninterrupted intercourse,
he loves me better every day . . .
and my health improves, too.
-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Letter written on her honeymoon

Men have lost more conquests by their own awkwardness than by any
virtue in the woman.
-- Ninon de Lenclos

If whoever invented it, you know, didn't want us to have intercourse, why did he make us fit together so perfectly?
-- Robert C Sorenson, Adolescent Sexuality, spoken by a fifteen-year-old girl

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free
is sex for money usually costs a lot less.
-- Brendam Behan

Like a fierce wind roaring high up in the bare branches of trees,
a wave of passion came over me, aimless but surging . . .
I suppose it's lust,
but it's awful and holy like thunder and lightning and the wind.
-- Joanna Field

In Europe, men and women have intercourse
because they love each other.
In the South Seas, they love each other
because they have had intercourse. Who is right?
-- Paul Gauguin

Once they call you a Latin Lover, you're in real trouble.
Women expect an Oscar performance in bed.
-- Marcello Mastroianni

What is the point of being a lesbian
if a woman is going to look and act like an imitation man ?
-- Rita Mae Brown

I don't know whether you've ever had
a woman eat an apple while you were doing it. . .
Well, you can imagine how that affects you.
-- Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn

Oh, not at all -- just a straightaway pounder.
-- Lillie Langtry, when asked if the Prince of Wales was a romantic lover

Of the delights of this world
man cares most for sexual intercourse,
yet He has left it out of heaven.
-- Mark Twain

When grown-ups do it, it's kind of dirty --
that's because there's no one to punish them.
-- Tuesday Weld

It is vice to go to bed with someone you are not married to
or have someone of your own sex or
to get money for having sex with someone who does not appeal to you-incidentally, the basis of half the marriages of my generation.
-- Gore Vidal, Matters of Fact and Fiction

Everybody makes me out to be some kind of macho pig,
humping women in the gutter.
I do, but I put a pillow under them first.
-- James Caan

If lesbians were purple, none would be admitted to respected places.
But if all lesbians suddenly turned purple today,
society would be surprised
at the number of purple people in high places.
-- Sidney Abbott and Barbara Love

Sex is something the children
never discuss in the presence of their elders.
-- Arthur S. Roche

What most men desire is a virgin who is a whore.
-- Edward Dahlbert

My lesbianism is an act of Christian charity.
All those women out there are praying for a man and
I'm giving them my share.
-- Rita Mae Brown

The more sex becomes a nonissue in people's lives, the happier they are.
-- Shirley Maclaine

The difference between sex and death is,
with death you can do it all alone and
nobody's going to make fun of you.
-- Woody Allen

Masturbation: the primary sexual activity of mankind.
In the nineteenth century it was a disease;
in the twentieth, it's a cure.
-- Thomas Szasz

Tarot Card: The Lovers by Julie Waters

I've made so many movies playing a hooker
that they don't pay me in the regular way anymore.
They leave it on the dresser.
-- Shirley Maclaine

It is a silly question to ask a prostitute why she does it. . .
these are the highest paid "professional" women in America.
-- Gail Sheehy, Hustling

A hard man is good to find -- but you'll mostly find him asleep.
-- Mae West

Ladies, here's a hint, if you're playing against a friend who has big
boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys.
That's the hardest shot for the well-endowed.
-- Billie Jean King

A painter who has the feel of breasts and buttocks is saved.
-- Pierre Auguste Renoir (He claimed he never would have painted if women did not have breasts.)

The human penis is a thing like a marmoset
or some other unruly small pet
that they carry around with them.
-- Norman Rush

Madame Bovary is the sexiest book imaginable.
The woman's virtually a nyphomaniac
but you won't find a vulgar word in the entire thing.
-- Noel Coward

I feel very angry when I think of brilliant, or even interesting,
women whose minds are wasted on a home.
Better have an affair.
It isn't permanent and you keep your job.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith

Tisn't beauty, so to speak, nor good talk necessarily.
It's just IT. Some women'll stay in a man's memory
if once they walked down a street.
-- Rudyard Kipling

Feminine passion is to masculine as an epic is to an epigram.
-- Karl Kraus

The older one grows, the more one likes indecency.
-- Virginia Woolf

Men have been trained and conditioned by women,
not unlike the way Pavlov conditioned his dogs,
into becoming their slaves.
-- Esther Vilar

Only in rare instance
do women experience one-tenth of the sexual feeling
which is familiar to most men.

-- Dr. Geroge Naphuys, 1878

A wise woman never yields by appointment.
-- Stendahl

I have always espoused chastity
except when one can no longer resist the temptation.
-- Edna O'Brien

At last, an unprintable book that is readable.
-- Ezra Pound, on Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer

The beautiful feeling after writing a poem is
on the whole better than after sex,
and that says a lot. . .
-- Anne Sexton

If I was the Virgin Mary, I would have said no.
-- Steve Smith

A liberated woman is one who has sex before marriage and a job after.
-- Gloria Steinem

Today the emphasis is on sex,
and very little on the beauty of sexual relationship.
Contemporary books and films portray it like a contest,
which is absurd.
-- Henry Miller

I was always able to preserve my great brain
from the influence of my sexual instinct,
so that I loved, coupled passionately,
and though lucidly all the time-and then I wrote it.
-- August Strindberg

Western man, especially the Western critic,
still find it very had to go into print and say:
"I recommend you to go and see this because it gave me an erection."
-- Kenneth Tynan

As I grew to adolescence, I imagined,
from closely observing the boredom and vexations of matrimony,
that the act my parents committed
and the one I so long to commit must be two different things.
-- Shirley Abbott


cordially invites her friends
to contribute their favorite
and join
Comet Quotation Club


     About MD | Submission Guidelines