Timbuckthree

Transcribed by Pax Nidorf, Ph.D.

 

'Music - Pink and Blue II' by Georgia O'Keefe

These lessons in higher spirituality are the heart of a new book that I am writing. The wisdom is taken and transliterated from the ancient Christian mystics and applied to modern times. The information is trustworthy, and the lessons are empowering.


Before we come on this earthly plane, we have already chosen our life lesson, our parents, and the spiritual growth goals we hope to achieve. All of these things are deeply pondered for nine month while we await birth.

At birth we start off with a new slate, but a slate which has been prepared for all that we plan to work on. The how, why, and wherefore have already been set in place by choices we made before our arrival.

At the last minute some choose to bail out, and this is permitted. These are the children who are aborted or die in childbirth or soon after in their short lives.

Though the earth plateau is the most difficult a soul can choose, it is also the one where one can make the most growth and development. Only the courageous choose it, and because of that alone you are very special.

Many, if not most people, merely spend their lives treading water. Without the road map to attain deep communion with Spirit, life is just a hit-or-miss affair . . . almost. Almost, because Spirit will never let us flounder, and will always be there prodding us on to make the right turn on the road. Our angels and guides will ever be tugging on our sleeve to make the right decisions. So here it begins . . .


The means of achieving union with Spirit is by the journey of faith. If this were easy, everyone would be doing it. However it is not easy, yet incredibly rewarding. There is such a joy when the great difficulties of the journey have been overcome. It takes inner strength to accept these challenges, and once accepted, it takes a lot of fortitude to persevere.

When a reason attains to union with Spirit, his natural faculties are at rest. This attained, the person is united with Spirit in a union of purity and love.

However dark life's journey may be, there is always a glimmer of light to which we can cling. In true depression there is so little light it is almost imperceptible. When we start the journey and are using our imagination, there still remains the light of understanding and reason. As we progress in the spiritual journey, when it is guided by faith alone, the soul is deprived of everything, both as to understanding and feelings.

The reason for this journey is to test your faith. Faith is the wondrous means that leads us to Spirit.

When we achieve knowledge by ourselves, it is only through natural means, attained by use of the five senses. For this reason, we must have input from the senses. This is why it is nearly impossible to describe the taste of an orange to one who has never tasted one.

With faith, we can believe in things that we have never seen or understood. Here we have no experience of them; we know them only by what we are told. By believing that which we are taught, we submit our understanding.

Faith transcends all, though other knowledge can be acquired by the light of intuition. But the knowledge that is of faith is acquired without understanding. It is clear that faith is a journey for the soul, and it is in this way that Spirit gives it light; and the more the soul seems depressed, the greater is the light that may be coming to it.

If one is spiritually depressed, that is, feeling abandoned by God, then one must rely on faith. It would seem that Spirit allows one to wallow in depression so that he might trust and rely on the belief that Spirit loves him. You need to allow yourself to be guided by faith, to experience this depression through which you must pass, in order that you may enter into the abyss of faith.

In order that one may attain supernatural transformation, it is clear that he must be purified from all that is contained in his nature that is sensual.

This transformation and union is something that cannot be comprehended by human senses. It is like a blind man, led by faith, taking it for his guide and light, and leaning upon none of the things that he understands. For if he goes by the old things that he knows, these will lead him astray; yet faith allows him to understand and experience and feel and imagine.

A man who is not totally blind, refuses to be led by a guide. Since he sees a little, he thinks it is better to go in the direction, which he can distinguish. In the same way, a person may lean upon his own knowledge. Yet, however great this knowledge may be, it is very little and far different from that of Spirit. In going along this road you can easily be led astray, or brought to a standstill. Faith is the true and only guide.

In this life, the greatest thing that can be experienced is Spirit. You need to aspire to be perfectly united with Spirit. You will be greatly impeded from reaching this high state of union with Spirit if you cling to anything of your own, and cannot detach yourself. For the goal which you seeks lies beyond all earthly knowledge. It lies beyond even the highest things that can be known or experienced. Then you must pass beyond everything known to the unknowing.

The person that attains this state has no longer any method of communicating with Spirit. Nevertheless he has within himself ways of possessing all things. For if you have courage to pass beyond your natural limitations, both interiorly and exteriorly, you will enter within the boundary of the supernatural.

Passing beyond all that can be known and understood, you will come to that which in this life cannot be known. Leaving behind all that you experience and feel, you will come to that which surpasses all feeling and experience.

In order for you to be available to Spirit, you must not become puffed-up with the gifts you receive. The more emphasis you lay upon what you understand, the more you lose sight of Spirit. The less you think about what you have, the less it distracts you from Spirit.

Then you approach union with Spirit by means of faith, and in this way faith wondrously illumines your heart and mind. For example, if you want the gift of sight, you need to focus on the Giver rather than the gift.


It must be known that Spirit is present substantially in every person, even in that of the worst person in the world. This kind of union is ever wrought between Spirit and all creatures. If union of this kind were to fail them, they would at once become annihilated and cease to exist.

When we speak of union of the person with Spirit, we speak not of this substantial union which is continually being wrought. We are talking about the union and transformation of the person in Spirit, which exists only when there is produced in us the likeness that comes from love.

Let us call this the UNION OF LIKENESS. This union is natural, rather than supernatural. Supernatural union comes to pass when the person and Spirit come together -- and there is nothing in the one that incongruent to the other. When the person rids himself totally of negativity, he is transformed in Spirit through love. Since God is love, the more loving we become, the more godlike we become.

In the UNION OF LIKENESS, nothing remains in us that is not the will of Spirit and we are then transformed in Spirit. Spirit is ever giving life to the soul. This is communicated only by love.

Spirit communicates Himself most often to those who have progressed farthest in love. Then Spirit is nearest to a person who has his will in closest conformity with His will. The person that has attained complete conformity and likeness of will is totally united and transformed in Spirit supernaturally; there is perfect congruity. He has then abandoned himself to the will of God.

The more completely a person is absorbed in himself, the less openness he has for such union. In this case he does not give Spirit an opportunity to transform him supernaturally. A person needs only to strip himself of selfishness, vanity, and negativity for Spirit to communicate to him supernaturally.

Picture a ray of sunlight striking a window. If the window is in any way dirty or foggy, the sun's ray will be unable to pass through it illuminating and transforming what it shines upon. It will illumine it to a lesser degree, in proportion as it is less free from dirt.

You are like this window that continually allows the divine light of Spirit to shine through and illumine the world.

Then allowing Spirit to work in you, you are at once illumined and transformed in Spirit. Spirit communicates to you His supernatural Being so fully that you actually reflect Spirit Himself. This union comes to pass when Spirit grants you some of His supernatural power. The vibrations of Spirit and your vibrations become one in transformation. You become more like Spirit than yourself. Although it is true that your natural being is as distinct from the Being of Spirit as you were before, even as the window has likewise a natural difference from that of the sunshine. Yet the sunshine gives the window brightness.

The preparation of a person for this union is purity and love -- that is, perfect resignation and detachment from everything for Spirit's sake alone. The more perfect the transformation, the more perfect the enlightenment, illumination, and union of the person with Spirit.

The person is not united with Spirit in this life through understanding, nor through enjoyment, nor through the imagination, not even through any feeling. It is united only through faith and hope and love.

Spirit must be loved above all; which is the essence of our life's journey. To make this great journey, you not only have to empty yourself of self, but also to free yourself completely in that which pertains to the selfishness.

The road of perfection leads upward. The Paxh is narrow, and therefore requires that travellers have no burden weighing upon. This is a matter wherein we must seek after Spirit alone. Spirit alone must be the object of our search and attainment.


As I said before, faith is the means to understand your realization of divine union through love. In order for the intuition to be prepared for this divine union, it must be pure and detached. One leans upon faith, which alone is the means whereby we are united with Spirit.

By faith alone, Spirit manifests Himself to you in divine light, which surpasses all understanding. The greater is your faith, the more closely are you united with Spirit. You must walk by faith as you journey to Spirit. The understanding is in darkness, walking in faith alone. Beneath this darkness the intuition is united with Spirit.

 If your aim in this life is to attain to union with Spirit, and commune directly with Him, you must unite yourself with the obscurity wherein Spirit has promised to dwell.

 The intuition can receive knowledge by two channels: the one natural and the other supernatural. The first kinds of knowledge that belong to the intuition, comes through "natural" channels: clairvoyance and clairaudiance. With respect to sight, you see figures and forms of persons who dwell on the other side.

 Representations of angels and guides, certain lights and brightness of an extraordinary kind are seen. And with the ears are heard certain extraordinary words, sometimes spoken by those figures that they see, sometimes without seeing the person who speaks to them.

 Usually Spirit communicates to one's inner knowing (intuition). Here there is security and profit for you. If we go on feelings alone, there is the danger of deception. This is because we judge and make evaluations of spiritual things, whereas the information you receive can be symbolic, metaphorical, or cryptic. Information received in this way can be very difficult to interpret accurately. The best and most accurate information comes directly into the intuition. It is that inner knowing.

Although these are desirable gifts, the more real are the objects in themselves, the less profit they are to your interior and spiritual growth. For although they are communicated by a certain degree of spirituality, as is always the case with things that come from Spirit, much less is communicated than would be the case if the same things were more interior and intuitive. They can very easily become the means whereby error and presumption and vanity grow in you.

When we experience such extraordinary things, we can become complacent, thinking ourselves to be of greater importance that we really are. This is not ego strength but egotism. The supernatural representations and feelings, therefore, must not overwhelm you, but need to be evaluated with reason.

Visions and voices, if they be of Spirit, produce their effect upon the heart at the very moment when they appear or are heard. You aren't even giving time to deliberate whether you will accept or reject them. Spirit can give these gifts without effort on your part. It can happen to a person whether they want them or not.

 So is it with spiritual visions and hearing, even though you don't desire them, that you may be instructed and enlightened. These things cannot come from the dark side unless negativity be invited in by the person.

The visions that are of Spirit penetrate you and move the will to love. They produce their effect in you that you cannot resist, any more than the window can resist the sun's rays when they strike it.

It is always well that you should question these visions. It can happen to psychics who rely on these things to such an extent, that many of them have found it more difficult to return to Spirit in purity of faith. When you are resigned to do the will of God, Spirit begins to increase and magnify His favors in you. A person who is humble and detached, will be made ruler over many things: giving him great spiritual power.

With these favors, if you be faithful and humble, the Lord will not cease until He has raised you, even to divine union and transformation. Spirit continues to test you in order to raise you higher. Thus, He first gives you things that are very unpretentious and exterior, so that you easily make your beginning steps. Then He grants you further and better gifts.

Happy are you who strives for growth in each stage of development. You will continually be growing in the love of Spirit. If you strive faithfully you will deserve to pass from one step to another, and from one spiritual level to another, even unto the last.

Some spiritual people err who rely totally on meditations to communicate with Spirit. Spirit wants to lead them on to further spiritual depths, which are interior and invisible. These people cannot detach themselves from the methods to which they have grown accustomed.

They continually labor to retain the beginners' toys, desiring to proceed by the way of meditation upon images and mental pictures, for they think that it must be so with them always. They labor greatly to this end and find little sweetness; rather the aridity and weariness and disquiet of their persons increases and grows.

You don't need this but another food, which is more delicate, more interior and partaking less of the nature of senses. It consists not in laboring with the imagination, but in putting your imagination to rest, and allowing yourself to remain in quiet and repose. The more you progress in spirituality, the more you cease to use your imagination.

It is troublesome to see one who is dedicated to developing his higher powers not advance spiritually. He removes himself from the peace and rest of interior quiet. He takes himself from tranquillity, and retraces the ground on which he has already traversed. He abandons his goal of ultimate union with Spirit.

Such persons do not know the mystery of contemplation; they think that in contemplation they are being idle and doing nothing; and then they do not allow themselves to be quiet, but endeavor to meditate and reason.

Because of this mental activity, they are filled with aridity, though they seek to find sweetness. The more they strive the less they profit; the more they persist after this manner, the worse is the state wherein they find themselves. They retrace the ground already traversed, by seeking to do that which has already been done.

To these people this advice must be given: wait lovingly upon Spirit in a state of quiet. Quiet the imagination and let the faculties rest. They will be working passively, by receiving information from Spirit. How fitting and necessary it is for those who aim at making progress to be able to detach themselves from their imagination.

The first sign that one should lay aside meditation (forming images in the mind) is your realization that you can no longer meditate.

You find aridity in that which formerly captivated your feelings and brought you sweetness. But, for as long as you find sweetness in meditation, and are able to communicate with Spirit, you should not abandon this. Let go of meditation when your soul is led into the peace and quietness of contemplation, which is described below.

The second sign is a realization that you have no desire to fix your mediation upon particular objects, exterior or interior. I do not mean that the imagination neither functions or not, (for even at times of deep recollection it is apt to be activated), but that you have no joy in fixing it upon objects.

The third and surest sign is that you take pleasure in being alone. You wait with loving attentiveness upon Spirit, without making any particular meditation, in inward peace and quietness and rest. You are alone, with an attentiveness and a knowledge, general and loving, but without any particular focus.

These three signs the spiritual person must observe in himself before he can venture safely to abandon the state of meditation and feelings, and enter that of contemplation and quiet.

When you begin to spiritually evolve, you may be hardly aware of it. The incoming loving knowledge at the beginning is very subtle and delicate, and almost imperceptible to the senses. When you have been accustomed to other exercises of meditation, you are unaware and hardly conscious of this new and imperceptible condition, which is purely spiritual. The more accustomed you grow in this, by allowing yourself to sit and listen, the more you will become conscious of the loving presence of Spirit. This has greater enjoyment than anything else, since it all happens without any real work on your part.

The person who would enter upon the spiritual road (which is that of contemplation) must leave the way of imagination and of active meditation. You will have received all the spiritual good which you would be able to derive from the things of Spirit by the Paxh of meditation, the sign whereof is that you can no longer meditate or reason as before.

At this state of spiritual development, meditation upon particular objects now becomes changed into a habit and substance of loving knowledge.

Now, when you give yourself to prayer, you are like one to whom water has been brought, so that he drinks peacefully, without labor, and is no longer forced to draw the water from the well of past meditations and forms and figures. Now, as soon as you come before Spirit, you quietly drink of wisdom and love and delight.

If you are in this condition of tranquillity and an authority figure in these matters tries to make you meditate, it will be totally frustrating. You are like one who has removed the rind from a orange, and are now tasting the orange, when you are then forced to stop doing this and to again try removing the rind again, which has been removed already. You find no rind to remove, and yet you are unable to enjoy the fruit which you already peeled. You would be like one who leaves a prize which you hold for another which you don't hold.

Many behave like this when they begin to enter this state of silent prayer. They still think that communication with Spirit consists in learning information by means of images and forms, which are like the orange rind.

When they don't find these in that loving quiet wherein their soul desires to remain, they think that they are going astray and wasting time. So they begin once more to seek the rind of their imaginings and reasoning though it has already been removed. Then they neither enjoy the substance nor make progress in prayer. They become troubled by the thought that they are turning backward and are losing themselves.

It needs to be understood that we are speaking of a knowledge of Spirit that is subtle and delicate, particularly when it is pure and simple.

Consider a ray of sunlight entering through a window. The more the ray is charged with dust particles, the more visible and bright it appears to the eye. Yet it is clear that the ray that reaches you is least pure since it is full of so many dust particles.

When the beam of sunlight is most free from dust particles, it is most difficult to see with the eye. The purer it is, the less it appears. If the ray were completely pure and free from all these particles, even from the minutest specks of dust, it would be completely invisible to the eye.

If the ray of light entered one window and went out another, without touching any dust particles, it would not be seen at all; yet that ray of light would be purer and clearer than when it was more clearly seen and perceived though being full of dust.

The same thing happens to you when you are in the realm of spiritual light. The light is so pure that it is neither perceived nor observed. When it is purest, it cannot be felt, though it is the most dynamic form of prayer. It is a state where time stands still.

This type of prayer seems to be extremely brief, although it can last for a long period of time. It is brief because you are united with pure intelligence, which belongs to no time. When you come out of this state of prayer, what you have experienced incredibly lifts the spirit. Although in this state of consciousness you may believe yourself to be doing nothing, you should realize that you are totally consumed by love.

You may frequently find yourself in a loving and peaceful state waiting upon Spirit, without mediating. In order to reach this state, you will frequently need to make use of meditation. When once you are brought into the contemplative state, your senses are then quiet.

Understanding and sweetness are manifested in this prayer and are wrought within it. You don't do any work yourself, except only to wait upon Spirit. Then Spirit communicates Himself to you. It is like opening your eyes to see the light. The light is communicated to you, without your doing anything more than keeping your eyes open.

If, during this time, you desire to understand and consider particular things, however spiritual they be, this would obstruct the pure and simple light of the spirit. When you completely purify and empty your mind of all forms and images, you will remain in this pure and elemental light, being transformed into a state of perfection.

When the spiritual person cannot meditate, let him learn to be still in Spirit, fixing his loving attention upon Spirit, in the calm of his understanding, although he may think himself to be doing nothing. For then, little by little and very quickly, divine calm and peace will be infused into his soul, together with a wondrous and sublime knowledge of Spirit, enfolded in divine love.

Ignore meditations and imaginings, or any kind of reasoning. These can disturb your soul and bring it out of its contentment and peace. If such a person fears that he is doing nothing, let him note that he is doing no small thing by calming his mind and bringing it into calm and peace, for it is this that Spirit asks of us.

In order to come to this essential union of love in Spirit, you must not depend on imagination, nor upon forms or figures or particular objects of the understanding. These cannot draw you to Spirit in contemplation.

When you completely detach yourself from images, not only are you not deprived of these communications and the blessings which they bring, but you are much better prepared to receive them with greater abundance, clearness, freedom of spirit, and simplicity. Set aside your anxieties, for they are curtains and veils covering the spiritual things you desire.

You may ask why Spirit, who is most wise, first leads you by the road of meditation?

If Spirit is to move you and to raise you up to divine union with Himself, He must do it with sweetness and according to your human nature. You acquire knowledge through your five senses. It follows then if Spirit is to raise you up to supreme knowledge, He must begin to touch your feelings, to gradually lead you, according to your own nature, to His spiritual wisdom, which does not belong to the sense.

It is for this reason that Spirit gives man visions and images. And then Spirit brings him to perfection according to the way of man's own nature, working from what is lowest and most exterior up to what is most interior and highest.

God first touches our feelings, making use of good things which are natural, such as hearing beautiful music, looking on an exquisite sunset, eating a delicious meal. When these senses are in some degree prepared, He perfects them still further by bestowing on them certain supernatural favors and gifts. In order to confirm you more completely in that which is good, He offers you certain supernatural communications, such as visions of your angels and guides.

Besides this He continues at the same time to perfect the interior bodily senses, such as imagination and fancy, and to habituate them to that which is good, by means of considerations, meditations, and reflections. When these are prepared by this natural exercise, Spirit will enlighten and spiritualize them still further by means of supernatural visions. From these you profit greatly, for both kinds of vision help to take away your grossness and gradually to change you. Spirit continues to lead you step by step till you reach that which is the most interior of all.

It is in this way Spirit instructs you and elevates your consciousness. He infuses you with spirituality first of all by means of outward and palpable things. It is like being attracted to the bright, colorful, and sweet-smelling orange peel.

With meditation, you need not leave the senses in order to continue taking in nourishment. Do this until the time and season to leave meditation have arrived. This comes when Spirit brings you into a higher form of communication, which is contemplation.


Although Spirit may have revealed information to you, this may be changed or altered or entirely withdrawn, according to the change or variation in the vibrations of the person. Then it might not be fulfilled in the way you expected, and you would not know why.

Spirit declares and teaches and promises many things, not that they may be understood at the time, but that they may be understood at a later time. There is no reason to think that, though revelations come from Spirit, they must invariably come to pass in their apparent sense, especially when they are bound up with human dynamics, which may vary, change, or alter.

Don't be disturbed that Spirit should speak and reveal certain things to you which do not come to pass as you think they should. If Spirit should communicate to you, if what is communicated is not misinterpreted, it will be fulfilled. We must rely, not upon understanding, but upon faith.

You always need guidance concerning the things that come to pass within your visions, so that you may be led by that means to advancement. For if you begin to give up your guidance, you will gradually become callous as you tread the spiritual road.

These are the means whereby Spirit guides such persons. There is a reason for proceeding very quietly and kindly, for encouraging these persons and giving them an opportunity to speak of these things. In view of the difficulty that some persons experience in describing such matters, this is often quite essential. Let me point out that many persons who have known nothing of such visions have made incomparably greater progress than others who have received many of them.

Since all these visions are intelligible to the understanding, they are described, in a spiritual sense, as visible. Because of the information given, they may be called intellectual visions.

Information comes to you in the same way. That which you see by intuition we call clairvoyant. That which you receive by means of hearing we call clairaudiant. From these you derive spiritual vision.

Don't try to understand the process, for you are being led into the divine and substantial union of Spirit. These visions are nobler and more profitable and much more certain than those which are imaginary, inasmuch as they are purely spiritual, since they are communicated to you more purely and subtly without any effort of your own or the use of imagination.

Speaking now strictly of those visions which come through Spirit, there are some of corporeal substances (like Aunt Edna who lives in Kansas). The other vision is incorporeal (like an angel which is all spirit). The corporeal visions are able to be seen, by the aid of a certain supernatural illumination derived from Spirit.

 The other visions, which are of incorporeal substances, cannot be seen by the aid of this illumination, but only by your intuition. These visions of incorporeal substances, such as angels and auras, are not seen by the senses; these things have no material substance.

Although all of these visions cannot be unveiled and be clearly seen in this life by the understanding, they can nevertheless be seen through intuition.

Let us, then, now treat of the visions of corporeal substances, (Aunt Edna), received spiritually in you. Just as the eyes see material objects by means of natural light, so you, by means of intuition, see supernatural things inwardly. (The difference) between the two kinds of vision we are speaking of, the incorporeal ones are much clearer and subtler than those which pertain to material substance.

When Spirit is pleased to let you see supernatural visions, He communicates to you that transcendental light wherein you see some of the essence of Spirit. At times it is as though a door were opened before you into a great brightness, through which you see a brilliant light. It is like a lightning flash, revealing things suddenly, and then leaving them in darkness, although the forms and figures of them remain in the mind, like seeing an after image.

 The effects which these visions produce in you are illumination, joy, sweetness, purity and love, and unity with Spirit.

 (Although) it is true that the remembrance of these visions moves you to a certain love of Spirit and contemplation. Yet you are moved and exalted much more by pure faith and detachment in darkness from them all. Then you will go forward, enkindle with yearnings for Spirit, without knowing whence they come, or on what they are founded.

 The fact is, while faith has become ever more deeply rooted and infused in you by means of detachment from all of the world's trivialities, at the same time the charity of Spirit has become rooted and infused in you even more deeply.

 There are times when it is diffiicult to understand this divine love. It resides, not in sense, with its tender feelings, but deep within you. Therefore, in order to attain to that love, joy and delight which such visions produce, it is well that you should rejoice in that light which you neither see nor feel in this life, which is Spirit.

It is well for you to journey to Spirit by disciplining yourself. For otherwise, even if you be so wise, humble and strong that the negative side cannot deceive you, without self-discipline, progress will be slow.


First printed as: "ANCIENT SECRETS OF HIGHER SPIRITUALITY
Information received and transcribed by Pax Nidorf, Ph.D.
Copyright 1997"

Reprinted by permission of author.


Pax Nidorf spent the first 20 years of his life studying art and in other educational pursuits. The second 20 years were spent in intensive training in the Augustinian monastic order. He was ordained as a Catholic priest in 1962. Pax retired from the priesthood in the 1973, married, and began his private practice as a psychotherapist. He has been a productive artist as an adult and has had many one-man shows throughout the West. He has a large following in Southern California with a waiting list for his commissioned works.

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